Day 6 of Advent Action

 

I have said "yes" to the heart journey.

Now I must pay attention as I prepare for it. 

Day 5 of Advent Action

Today, I took back a pair of jeans which didn't fit.  To be specific, I had quickly grabbed the right waist size, wrong length.  The store was in the mall and despise the mall above all other locations on this earth.  Except for the view of Ashland KY from I-64 and Eastman Chemicals from I-26).  Anyways, said jeans proceeded to sit in my trunk for weeks because I was so mad at myself for wasting a trip to Hel--- the MALL.  I meant mall.

So, today, I finally took them back, grabbed the correct pair and exchanged them. 

Imagine my surprise when I got home and realized they were ALSO the wrong length. 

Super. 

I am the WORST shopper.  And I like that about me. 

Day 4 of Advent Action

On this 4th day of Advent Action, I took 4 huge bags of stuff to Goodwill.  I have been cleaning out the closets, picking up the piles in the basement, sorting the stacks.  To say it is liberating to purge all the unnecessaries is an understatement. 

Though my tendencies would never provide enough shock and awe to make show material, I consider myself a bit of a hoarder.  I hang on to all the memories - every photo, every note, every Christmas card, every missized piece of clothing (because, you never know if I will need it again!).  The example of a new friend has shown me that releasing things and preventing attachment can lead to simplicity and freedom! 

Though it is difficult for me, I have been letting go of those old letters and the energy they hold - even my 20 year old collection of mix tapes ended up in the trash (who would ever want them?).  For me, they represented previous chapters and as I strongly desire to begin again, I want to feel unfettered and light, instead of cluttered and bogged down.  Already, my home feels more open.

So, I dropped a bunch of clothes mostly off at Goodwill and left them with a prayer that someone might find what they need in those plastic bags. 

As an added bonus, this little popsicle-sharer got to come with me.  He is full of life and joy.  If we are open to receive and clear, both of these are contagious.

Day 3 of Advent Action

Today, I downloaded all the pictures onto my computer from my iPhone.  If you know me, you know what a large task this is.

Checkin' off the to-do list feels pretty good. 

Day 2 of Advent Action

I fixed dinner.  A real one.  It was edible. 

Success. 

What to do in the Darkness

What to do in the Darkness

Go slowly
Consent to it
But don't wallow in it
Know it as a place of germination
And growth
Remember the light
Take an outstretched hand if you find one
Exercise unused senses
Find the path by walking it
Practice trust
Watch for dawn.

- Marilyn Chandler McEntyre

Day 1 of Advent Action

Day 1 of Advent Action:  I am creating a new blog on which to record my work, my creation and re-creation.  It doesn't matter that I have 5+ more active blogs.  They are all meaningful and contain the stories of previous chapters.  I do not abandon them and their work.  As one who has always kept a journal, until the digital age, I choose to make this my new journal, for the new chapter.   It's my new Yellow Notebook, my leatherbound/leather-tied record of the days.

And, most importantly, I will not live in fear of letting you read this journal.

The eagle she leads me. 

Click here for my inspiration: Post

Day 1 of Advent Action: I am creating a new blog on which to record my work, my creation and re-creation. It doesn't matter that I have 5+ more active blogs. They are all meaningful and contain the stories of previous chapters. I do not abandon them and their work. As one who has always kept a journal, until the digital age, I choose to make this my new journal, for the new chapter. It's my new Yellow Notebook, my leatherbound/leather-tied record of the days. And, most importantly, I will not live in fear of letting you read this journal.


 The eagle she leads me.

LOVE > fear (Advent and Action)

Last night, I got excited about something - for the first time in a long time.  I haven't felt that spark, the ignition of something powerful and true, for waaaay too long.  This fire kept me from sleep for hours. 

The flame was writing.  Seems pretty simple when I type it out, but it's important for me to acknowledge and affirm that I am a writer.  I am a writer.  (Saying it over and over helps me believe, you see.)  I have had many blogs thus far in my life; several of them are still active.  It annoys me to think that all my work is scattered across several venues. At first I resisted starting another blog, but in this new chapter I am creating a new life.  It seems fitting to create a new virtual space to record my thoughts and practice my craft. 

Yet, I am fearful. 

Writing makes me vulnerable.  Without knowing me well, without understanding the true meaning behind what I type, my intent can be lost in translation.  Your eyes can see what I don't and if you are a certain type of person, you can twist my words to convey what benefits you.  This has happened to me before and I am still wounded from misunderstanding and betrayal.  I could choose to live in this fear forever.  Instead, I choose love. 

Love is greater than fear.  This is my choice.

It's December now.  This month's arrival has been abrupt and surprising.  I spent 6+ years attending and loving a church that emphasized Advent.  This tradition instilled in me the desire for tradition and ritual - the lighting of the candles, the anticipation, the waiting, the acknowledging of the darkness.  I loved the spiritual meaning behind expectation - the coming of Christ to earth.  My favorite part about Advent became the permission to be in the darkness - to be present in the longest nights of the year, to wait and watch for the spark.

In many ways, I can see that my life this whole year has been an Advent of sorts.  It has been painful, empty, and so, so dark.  At times, I have been impatient (to put it mildly), wanting to be out of it, wanting to be free, to be new.  But dissolution as well as creation both take time, and for me have both happened in the dark. 

So, last night when I felt the spark, I sensed that Christ, as a symbol of hope and new life, was indeed on the way. 

Last month, many friends practiced gratitude in the form of 30 days of Thankfulness.  Per my usual, if everyone is doing it, I definitely won't.  Instead, this month I am creating my own practice of 30 Days of Action, in recognition of Advent.  Thought it would seem contrary to the silence, darkness, and stillness of waiting, I choose to be active in the darkness.  I choose to MOVE.